do you teach rules or values?

Do you feel like you are constantly correcting your child?

Do you feel that you are redirecting and repeating behavior rules all the time?

Guess what? You probably are.  In fact, research shows that from ages two to ten children are urged by their parents to change their behavior once every six to nine minutes… 50 discipline encounters a day or over 15,000 a year!  No wonder you are so tired.  School isn’t even out yet… and you are counting the days until the summer is over.

So how can you make sure that all that correcting is effective anyway?

Two discipline options

The same research shows that there are a couple of ways parents can chose to correct a child.  One is using reasoning or a rational approach.  It often involves identifying a rule and why it is wrong. For instance:  The rule is no hitting and hitting your sister is wrong because it hurts people.

Another option is to have fewer rules but focus those rules around values. The golden rule is a good example:  The rule is treat others as you would want to be treated. So, I know you don’t like someone to hit you, do you?  How does it make you feel?  How would your sister feel if you hit her?

You may wonder what difference it makes. Aren’t rules… just rules? According to the research, it can make a lot of difference. The second option creates adults who are able to demonstrate, even in difficult situations where there is pressure to follow a crowd mentality, that they can behave in ways that demonstrate positive character values. So teaching positive values such as integrity, honesty, perseverance, or compassion trumps simple rules every time.

Related Posts:

The power of not yet in changing behavior

How do you create better behavior?

One phrase can change entitlement mindset

 

 

End of School Year Special

Get all 7 Wyatt story books:

Wyatt Goes to Kindergarten

Wyatt Learns about Being Organized

Wyatt Learns about Winning

Wyatt Learns about Cooperation

Wyatt Learns about Friendship 

Wyatt Learns about Good Manners 

AND

Wyatt’s Book of Lesson Plans, Activities and Games

A $110 value for $95 (includes shipping)

 




 Wyatt Learns about Good Manners

Wyatt is always wondering about something and lately it is how to get his friend, Max to change his bossy ways.  What can he do?  Join Wyatt as he considers some rather unusual options until he finally discovers that a heart to heart talk with Max can create a new friendship with an old friend.

Wyatt_the_Wonder_Dog_Cover_Manners_Kindle

Wyatt the Wonder Dog: Learns About Good Manners

                    

Got hustle?

You’ve got one kid in your class who is knocking it out of the park…

  • they are on top of their assignments
  • they are engaged
  • they ask questions and are genuinely interested in learning

You’ve got another who is failing…

  • they are always behind the eight ball
  • they are disengaged
  • they are disinterested

What is the difference?  Intelligence?  Talent?  Ability?

Those factors may be a part of the picture, but its also very possible they are not the root of the problem.  I bet the deciding factor is: hustle.

What is hustle?  Tim Elmore in a recent post defines it like this:

Energy + Effort + Urgency = Hustle

Angela Duckworth in her book Grit identifies a similar standard for the high achiever; grit. Students with grit put forth more effort and exhibit more drive, even when they experience failure.  In fact, they re-frame failure as an opportunity to learn and approach the task with even more energy and effort.  They set goals and push themselves to accomplish them, even when it may appear that they have less talent or ability than someone else.

So how do we as educators and parents encourage hustle?  Here are a few ideas…

  • Focus on the experience of learning more than the experience of success— Help children understand that success is a process not an event.
  • Focus on effort more than talent or ability–Help children understand that energy and effort trumps ability or talent.
  • Focus on persistence and endurance–Help children understand that sticking with a task is more important than giving up especially when the outcome is uncertain.
  • Focus on serving others more than personal accomplishment–Help children understand how their efforts benefit others (their team, their family, their friends or their community) as well as themselves.

There are lots of ways to teach grit or hustle but one effective and engaging way is to use the examples and lives of well known individuals who have overcome failure, lack of resources and even personal handicaps to succeed.  Here are some great books to use:

Salt in His Shoes: Michael Jordan in Pursuit of a Dream  by Deloris Jordan

 

Farmer Will Allen and the Growing Table by Jacqueline Briggs Martin

 

Girls Think of Everything by Catherine Thimmeah

 

Harvesting Hope The Story of Cesar Chavez by Kathleen Krull

 

Odd Boy Out by Don Brown

 

The Tree Lady by H. Joseph Hopkin

 

Wilma Unlimited by Kathleen Krull

 

End of School Year Special

Get all 7 Wyatt story books:

Wyatt Goes to Kindergarten

Wyatt Learns about Being Organized

Wyatt Learns about Winning

Wyatt Learns about Cooperation

Wyatt Learns about Friendship 

Wyatt Learns about Good Manners 

AND

Wyatt’s Book of Lesson Plans, Activities and Games

A $110 value for $95 (includes shipping)

 




Wyatt the Wonder Dog Learns about Winning

Wyatt the Wonder Dog didn’t make it on the All Star baseball team and he feels like a loser.  All  his friends will be playing baseball this summer, while he and his pesky sister, Callie, visit grandparents at the beach.  How Wyatt learns to handle disappointment and failure will be an important lesson for the future.  Will he give up trying new things?  Will he have the confidence to try again?  Are there some things that take more practice and persistence to learn than others? Wyatt the Wonder Dog Learns About Winning
Wyatt the Wonder Dog Learns about Winning (Wyatt the Wonder Dog Books) (Volume 5)

 

 Lesson Plan to teach growth mindset and grit with Wyatt the Wonder Dog Learns about Winning

Kids and vision boards

If there is one activity that is always a hit with kids, it’s creating a vision board.  I’ve used vision boards as a way to create focus for kids around different topics such as goal setting or determining an intention for the next season.

In a previous post, I talked about the importance of reviewing an intention that was set at the beginning of the year.  A great way to set an intention for the weeks or months ahead is to create a vision board around that intention.  Here’s how:

Use a vision board as a focus for goal setting

  • Have students write down their goal:
    • It could be a goal for the summer: Relax and enjoy my family and friends.
    • It could be a goal for a sport:  Place first or second in breaststroke for my swim team.
    • It could be an academic goal:  Read 5 books this summer.
  • Have students create a vision: Students can close their eyes and imagine accomplishing their goal.  What would it look like?  How would they feel? What would they be doing? How would their senses come into play (what would they touch, see, taste, smell?).
  • Have students  find a way to represent the vision: Students can cut out images and words or phrases from magazines that represent them accomplishing their goal.
  • Have students make their vision concrete:  Once they have accumulated enough images, they can glue the images on a piece of poster board.  Using markers or other creative tools, they can decorate their board so it is eye catching and memorable.
  • Have students share their boards with the class:  Research shows that goals that are shared are more likely to be accomplished. Have students identify how they will use the boards as inspiration and motivation for accomplishing their goal.

Related Posts:

Learning from Goal Setting

5 Effective Ways to Teach Kids in the Digital Age

The power of ‘not yet’ in changing behavior

End of School Year Special

Get all 7 Wyatt story books:

Wyatt Goes to Kindergarten

Wyatt Learns about Being Organized

Wyatt Learns about Winning

Wyatt Learns about Cooperation

Wyatt Learns about Friendship 

Wyatt Learns about Good Manners 

AND

Wyatt’s Book of Lesson Plans, Activities and Games

A $110 value for $95 (includes shipping)

 




Kids and anxiety

I was recently talking with a teenager that I volunteer with at Mostly Mutts, a local shelter for dogs.  In the course of our conversation, she told me that she is home schooled because she “has anxiety.”  What does it mean when we think and talk about anxiety this way?

When we talk about anxiety as something that we “have”, much like we might say we have blond hair or blue eyes, we are saying that it is something we have little control over.  At best it becomes something that we somehow caught like a cold or the chickenpox. And the trouble with that view of anxiety is that it becomes a condition that we just need to live with or treat until it goes away as mysteriously as it appeared.

In actuality all of our emotions are feelings in our body that we create based on our thoughts.  This is true of positive and negative feelings.  Sometimes these thoughts are so ingrained that they are practically unconscious.  Sometimes  they are either so common in society or in our minds that we accept them without question as the truth or  the  only way to believe or think.

But the good news is that with enough effort and insight we can unearth the message that is creating any feeling.  Once we understand the message or thought process we can change that process so that we can change the feeling.  I think you would agree that this is not only worth the effort, but also a much better plan than learning to live with fear or anxiety through various coping strategies or medication that numbs our feelings.

Here’s how to teach kids to challenge and change feelings:

  • Become an observer— Take the time to evaluate a situation where the response is anxiety or fear.  Ask the questions:
    • What happened?  “The teacher announced a test on Friday.”
    • What did you tell yourself about the situation? “I don’t understand the material.  I always do badly on tests.  I’m not ready.  I’ll probably fail…”
    • How did you feel?  “Worried, nervous, afraid, anxious…”
  • Challenge your thoughts– argue with them, make them prove themselves, be the devils’ advocate, don’t accept thoughts as the truth
    • “I understand a lot of the material and I can learn the rest by Friday.”
    • “I don’t always do badly on tests.  I have made some really good grades on tests.”
    • “I’m not ready… yet.  I know how to study and prepare for a test and and I can do it.  I have the time and the ability.”
    • “I won’t fail if I put forth enough effort.”
  • Create a plan— don’t just change your thoughts, change your actions based on your thoughts.  Plan to do what is necessary to be your best self and put forth your best effort.
    • “I’ll study 30 minutes every night”
    • “I’ll finish reading the assignment and doing the extra work.”
    • “I’ll ask for help on the things I don’t understand.”
  • Be vigilant and stay in control of your thoughts and your actions in order to stay in control of your feelings— It’s hard to stay anxious when we are occupied with other things.  Stay on track with the plan.  Keep working on it and reminding yourself that you are in charge of your thoughts.
  • Be patient and give yourself time–The thoughts that create anxiety have had a lot of practice and repetition.  It will take some time to replace them but eventually the new way of thinking will become the new habit.

 

Related Posts:

Teaching kids to manage feelings

3 ways to teach kids to tackle anxiety

Is your child a people pleaser?

 

End of School Year Special

Get all 7 Wyatt story books:

Wyatt Goes to Kindergarten

Wyatt Learns about Being Organized

Wyatt Learns about Winning

Wyatt Learns about Cooperation

Wyatt Learns about Friendship 

Wyatt Learns about Good Manners 

AND

Wyatt’s Book of Lesson Plans, Activities and Games

A $110 value for $95 (includes shipping)

 


 

Learning from goal setting

In an earlier post this year, I suggested that students set an intention for the year and review that intention midway through the school year and again at the end of the school year.  As the school year comes to a close, it is a good time to determine the success of that intention and use it as a way to measure progress while planning for the  year ahead.  Here’s how…

Three Questions for Reflection

  • Were you successful in reaching your goal or your intention?  Why or why not?
  • What did you learn from setting this goal?  What would you do again?  What would you change?  How much more successful could you be if you put forth your best effort for the next few months?
  • What is your goal or intention going forward?  Imagine yourself in 3 months, 6 months or a year if you are successful.  What would that look like?  What would be different?

Reflection on goals has been shown to be a powerful learning tool.  In fact, individuals who don’t take the time to reflect on their history, often fail to learn valuable lessons and repeat the same mistakes. Setting aside a specific time for regular reflection is a good habit to establish and what better time to do it than as the school year comes to a close?

Related Posts:

Begin School with Intention, Plan for Reflection 

The secret sauce to setting and achieving goals

How to create an intentional year

 

End of School Year Special

Get all 7 Wyatt story books:

Wyatt Goes to Kindergarten

Wyatt Learns about Being Organized

Wyatt Learns about Winning

Wyatt Learns about Cooperation

Wyatt Learns about Friendship 

Wyatt Learns about Good Manners 

AND

Wyatt’s Book of Lesson Plans, Activities and Games

A $110 value for $95 (includes shipping)

 




7 Steps to Creative Thinking in Kids

In a world dominated by technology, creative thinking is at a premium. While we can find the answer to most any question just by goggling it, one thing that computers can’t do is create new ideas, problem solve or design projects that are outside of the box.  It takes the creative human mind to to connect the dots.

Is creativity just something some people are born with?

Is it possible to teach kids how to think creatively?

If so how?

7 steps to creative thinking:

  • Narrow the field– I know this is a surprising first step because most of us think to be creative that we need to widen the field of choices.  We believe we need to consider all the possible options.  Instead the brain is overwhelmed by too many choices and it is more productive in a smaller playing field.  Sometimes thinking creatively doesn’t mean thinking outside the box but instead changing the choices, connections and relationships inside the box.  Here are some examples of narrowing the field that can result in creative work:
    • Tell a story in 10 words
    • Draw a picture using just one color
    • Design a 7 step process for developing a new skill
  •  Re-frame the problem– This involves thinking about the problem in a new way by asking, “What if it’s possible?”
    •  What if it’s possible to maintain someone’s attention by creating a story with only 10 words?
    • What if it’s possible to tell a story where color plays an important role in the story?  (Check out the Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig.)
    • What if it’s possible to learn how to make friends in 6 easy steps? Check out Dale Carnegie’s book, How to win friends and influence people)
  • Separate research from development– Designate a particular time for gathering information and a later time for compiling and developing your information.  Just as it’s hard to research and write a story at the same time, its hard to think creatively about solving a problem when you are still gathering  data.  Multitasking isn’t effective in any arena of effort.
  • Silence the critic within- Our creative thinking is often squelched by our inner critic who is constantly offering negative comments and criticisms.  By deciding not to judge whether or not something is a good idea or even possible in the initial stages of creative thinking, you are able to open the door to imagination and originality. Learn to enjoy the process as much as the end result.
  • Sleep on it– Taking a break or sleeping on an idea and returning to it later allows the unconscious mind to sort through ideas and consider new and unique possibilities.  It releases inventiveness and ingenuity.
  • Think about how your work will benefit others– We often need to develop some personal distance from a project and asking how others will benefit or enjoy the end result helps to provide that space.  We can become more engaged in a project when we think it will help someone else than when we are doing it for ourselves.
  • Recognize the effort as well as the finished project– not everything works out as well as we would hope.  However when we encourage a growth mindset and praise the time and effort that went into a project, we are setting the stage for more creativity in the future.

Related Posts:

Teach Girls Bravery not Perfection

5 Ways to Encourage Creativity in Kids

4 Skills Your Child will Need as an Entrepreneur

 

Wyatt’s Little Book of Lesson Plans, Worksheets and Games

Just for you!  Here are activities, lesson plans, discussion questions, coloring sheets, word search puzzles and games for each of the six Wyatt the Wonder Dog Books.  Over 75 pages of ideas so that you can create lessons on cooperation, teamwork and leadership skills to quickly extend and incorporate the Wyatt stories.

 

http://wyatthewonderdog.com/activitybook